Bad Friday in Kandahar
by Bonzai80
Summary: Tears of the Sun. Has not direct reference to the movie, I ve only took the characters. The Story: A german forces Doctor was almost on her way home from Afghanistan, when she met old friends again.   Cole Hauser - Johnny Messner Characters
1. A request

_Authors note: This is my first story in english. I tried to minimize the mistakes. Altough I had a helping hand (Thank you!),some errors could have survived. Please excuse, if the grammatical terms aren´t always perfect.  
>In case you`ll find a part, that isn´t understandable, write me !<em>  
><em>Nevertheless: I hope you can enjoy the story!<em>

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><p>They were in the first vehicle of the convoy, when they were suddenly attacked. An explosion hit the truck and flipped it upside down like a toy. Those who were able to, tried to leave it, find a secure place. Gunfire started. More explosions were felt- and heard. In a few minutes 6 vehicles of the convoy were just a scrap heap. Soldiers were shouting orders and trying to fight the enemy.<br>He was disoriented for a second. Kneeling on the ground, he took a look around. He could hardly breathe from the pain. Something hot hit his left leg. He tried to stand up. It was bleeding intensely. He knew if stayed here, he would bleed to death or be shot sooner or later. "Come on, man! Get your ass over here!" In the moment when he saw one of his mates a few steps away calling for him, someone shouted: "Bazooka, two o´clock!" He jumped on his feet to save himself. But before he could go to cover, the impact threw him against the next house wall. He was unconscious.

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><p>She sat on her bed, watching TV. The bad news on CNN shocked her. A whole convoy of NATO troops had been attacked 2 hours ago. On the screen she could see burning vehicles on the ground. Blackhawk Medevacs over them. Although there was no actual news how many had been killed or injured, she knew there must be hell on earth. Appalled she held her hand in front of the mouth. She had seen all the wounds and awful things war spits out. She is anesthetist in the German army. Now she sat here in Kandahar on her packed bags, waiting for her flight home after she came here from Kabul to exchange with colleagues. A look at the clock; 5 hours to sleep before it is time to get up. So she switched off the TV. No more horror for the next 3 months!<br>She smiled when she thought of home. Friends will be waiting for her. Of course her parents. Especially them. They are always scared to death when she goes on mission in a war country. They think the army is no place for women. Her Mum thinks she might step on an IED or get shot. Her Dad is always afraid his little girl might get raped every day. She must grin when she thinks of him. The Men treat her with a lot of respect. Not a few owe her their life. Although she`s quite pretty. She has bright blue eyes. Someone once called her "Wildfire", 'cause of the radiance in them and her character. Long brown hair, trained, nice legs. A little bit small maybe, but sweet. Behind the sweet shell, everybody on her staff knows she could get very loud and angry when things going wrong for a patient because someone made a mistake. She expected 100% from her team, 150% from herself.

With a happy sigh she turned the light off and closed her eyes. Just in the moment sleep wanted to come over her, someone ran over the barrack's floor. Then, door knocking. Loud… Almost upset. Cursing she jumped off: " What the fuck? In the middle of the night ! Are you dopey?" Already cursing in german, she opened the door. "What is it ?"

A panting private stood in the door. He rang for breath when he saluted and began to talk: "Excuse the night-time disturbance, Oberstabsärtzin Strauss… The Kandahar combat hospital requested for anesthetists . Their staff capacity is almost exhausted because of the bombed convoy."

„They have a really great crew there.. and asking us for help?" she wondered.  
>The private only gave her a shoulder shrug: „ Vehicle is already waiting for you. " He still rang for breath.<br>That was it. Her vacation. She will miss her flight back home. But she was doctor with passion and she´d never refuse a request for help. She grasped her bag and threw it over her shoulder. While going she ordered to the private: " Try to contact Stabsärztin Holtmann. Send her there,too! Where one helping hand is needed, a second won`t be bad! Ah, and call my parents that i´ll be late. Delay my flight! "

"Yes,Ma'am!" saluted the Private when Dr. Strauss got in the american vehicle.  
>"Ma´am, it`s hell there. We thought we´d seen everything. But today will go down in history!" said the driver.<p>

She just looked at him, silent, nodded and took a deep breath. "This will be a long night, I guess."


	2. Unexpected Reunion

They arrived at the hospital in a few minutes. Dr. Strauss jumped out of the car. A tall, blonde nurse came to her, reached her hand. She needs to talk very loud because a Medic flight came in for landing. "Ma'am! You must be the German anesthetist we requested. We´re so grateful, you´re here. I´m Luietenant McCallum. Please call me Ann." "Thank you, Ann. I´m Dr. Strauss. Another female colleague may come, too. How can I help? " "Please Ma'am, follow me." Ann went quickly in and Dr. Strauss followed her. "Have you clean clothes for me? My uniform is a little underdressed for here." She tried to make a joke while they almost ran. Ann smiled, "Of cause, Ma'am. I`ll get it for you."

They hurried through the entry, it seemed there must be hundreds of people there. Nurses, doctors, wounded… The moaning and wailing was there like vast amounts of blood on the floor. The air smelled like iodine, blood and burned flesh. In view of this organized chaos and the babble of sounds and voices her steps got slower.

There was a man with burns, needs to be calmed by a nurse. One was writhing in pain. It seemed that he had several bullet wounds. Another sat on a stretcher. His back was turned to her. So she could see the wounds on it. Not life-threatening but must be sewn. In his Mohawk haircut stuck a little blood. For a little moment she thought, she knew him. Ever seen him before… Suddenly she had a very, very queasy feeling in her stomach. But didn´t know why.

Ann yelled, "Craig, where is help needed? I´ve got the German anesthetist here with me!" Craig seemed to be the Coordinator here. The conductor .

"Trauma Bay 5! " he blurts from the other side of the hall.  
>They hurried out of the entry to a room with a leaf door. Ann pushed the door open.<p>

Someone counts to three and the soldier is lifted in one fluid motion from the stretcher to a trauma bed. Seven people are working on him now, ripping away dirty clothes, starting IVs to replace lost blood and calling out vital signs.  
>Dr. Strauss took a short look around to orientate. "Oberstabsärtzin Strauss at your service" she shook the hand of a doctor who turned to her. He smiled. "Lt. Commander Daily. Thank you for coming here so fast! I´ll introduce you to the rest of the team, when we´re done ."he said. The team round the patient gave her a short friendly nod for greeting. No time for courtesies. She nodded back. "You´re welcome." The queasy feeling had gone now.<br>"What do we have here? Can someone give me a handing over?" She looked around. Ann came in again with some surgical clothing. "I hope it's the correct size.." "It will fit, I guess" Dr. Strauss went to a free corner in the room and started changing the clothes while Ann read from the patient´s medical form to inform her. "Atkins, James, male, 31. Got hit by shrapnel. He`s got a tourniquet on the left leg. Wound's not very deep, arterial bleeding has been stopped. But he has lost of blood, until a few minutes he was unconscious." Dr. Strauss took a look at her patient. Slowly she went over to him. Every step seemed to take an hour, the floor felt like the mattress of a water bed, the voices around her sounded like they were speaking through cotton.  
>He was pale, hard breathing, he tried to speak but he could only move his lips.<br>"We think there is a further internal bleeding." Daily said. "We must go to the operation room. NOW! Is one free?"-"Will be in about 15minutes.." someone answered.  
>Dr. Strauss took his hand. A hand she hadn´t held for almost 2 years. She pushed herself together. No Emotions now! She released his hand, asking Ann: "He has eaten or drunk anything in the last six hours?" "We don`t know.."<br>"Have you asked him?" Ann put a serious look on. "I´m sorry," Dr. Strauss said "Don´t want to…" "It´s ok.. " Ann smiled again. It was amazing that someone who has to see things like these everyday can preserve such a smile.  
>"Ok, prepare the ventilator and get me 6 further units of blood!" His pulse was rising.<p>

Dr. Strauss filled a syringe with an anesthetic. Then she turned to her patient. He was calm but he began to shake. "BP is 100 over 40 and falling" she heard.  
>"Get me 4 more," She requested urgently more blood. The first six had arrived. She pushed two in him with low pressure by her hands. The remainder were transfused normally.<br>He turned his face to her, it was hard for him to speak. "Missed…" He felt dizzy and cold. Damn cold. The shaking got worse. Strauss took his hand again. She could not understand him, there was too much noise in the bay. He tried to hold her warm hand.  
>In this moment he thought, he will surely die when he lets go. She leaned over him and whispered in his ear: "Red, It`s ok now. I´ll put you into sleep now and take the pain. I´ll take care of you! Ok? The only thing for you to do is to hang in! Understand me, Seal?" "Yeah," he whispered while she pushed the injection slowly in an IV.<p>

Once the anesthetic worked, she tried to intubate him. At this moment the monitor behind her began to alert. Ann reported: BP is falling… Pulse rising..  
>"Shit! Didn´t I tell you NOT TO GIVE UP? " she shouted in german at her sedated patient. She threw the laryngoscope and the tube away she wanted to place and decided to ventilate Atkins manually and ordered quickly some medication to stabilize his circulation. Then the beeping behind her changed into a continuous sound. "Cardiac arrest!" Ann blurts while Dr. Strauss injected the drugs. Ann began the CPR right away. She pushed with the power of her whole weight. After a few pressures he had a pulse again.<br>"What about the damn surgery? WE CAN´T WAIT!" Daily shouted out of the leaf door. In this moment a nurse rushed in: "Surgery Team One is free for ya!" At his command everything was unbound and laid on the trauma bed.  
>"We´re ready! GO!" Strauss yelled. So the leaf door was thrown up, and 4 of the team ran with the bed to the operating room.<br>Dr. Daily introduced Strauss quickly to the surgery team while they prepared Red for surgery.

As Ann went back to Trauma Bay 5 to clean up for the next patient, she was stopped by a soldier. "Will he make it? He`s my best friend…" The tall man with a mohawk looked worried. "They will fix him up again." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Please wait over there… And pray."


	3. Calm down

After four hours of surgery, Red was lifted from the operating table to the bed again. Dr. Strauss handed her patient to the nurses of the intensive care Unit. "In the next 3 hours a blood gas analysis every 30minutes, with lactate, hematokrit and hemoglobin. But I´ll be there in a few minutes.."

While the nurses took Red to the ward, Dr. Strauss went back in the operating room. She had to finish her protocol. She supported her head on her left hand while she writes.  
>There it was again. That feeling... That feeling she restrained the last five hours. She felt uneasiness. Thoughts ran through her head. THIS was her personal worst case scenario. She had always been professional.<br>Of course, she gets touched by the fate of her patients. She never let it get personally. She always did her job. Full concentration when the adrenaline rushed thru her vains. When it does she felt only that. Nothing else.  
>It pushed herself to the limit- and she loved it. That´s why she liked her job so much. The adrenaline made her fast thinking, fast reacting, almost high. Because of that, she was able to laugh or make a joke, even if the situation was really critical.<br>Later there´s time to think, not when there´s a job to be done.

Now it is this later. This time it really hit her. It hit her harder than punch in the stomach.

Two nurses wiped the blood off the floor. It was his blood. Nausea came over her.

She signed the protocol and left the operating room. Grabbed her surgical cap off.  
>On the corridor she met Ann again. "Ma'am.. Are you ok? You don´t look very..." "Yes,yes.. Is here a toilet?"she fell in. "Right over there." Ann showed with her finger on a door on the right side. Concerned she looked Dr. Strauss as she went there.<p>

Dr. Strauss had to vomit several times. Her hands were shaking, cold and sweaty. She talked to herself , that she has to look after him. So she forced herself to pull together but it took a while.  
>With lowered head she left the lavatory and walked into a soldier. "Ah…. I´m sorry Ma'am. Was my fault.." he said. She recognized his warm voice and looked up.<p>

"M- Mel?" stuttered the soldier. "Kelly!" she smiled anguished. Not because she wasn´t happy to see him. She was still sick and she knew, what he would ask next.  
>"How`s Red?" he asked low. Mel rubbed her forehead. "He got hit by shrapnel, as you surely know. This cut his femoral artery. More problems made a rupture of an abdominal artery.<br>It was hard to stop bleeding.. We had to reanimate him three times.." her voice trembled with each word more. To talk about it, made it real. She couldn´t fight her tears anymore. She fell around his neck and began to cry unrestrained.  
>He laid his arms around her. "Actually I dunno if he´ll survive…"she sobbed. He hugged and comforted her. "I`m sure you did all what you could.." She struggled for composure. "What about you? Are you ok? " "Don´t worry for me- only a few scratches."<br>"I´m happy to hear that, Lake. But now I have to go to the ICU to check him." she wiped the tears away. He caresses her cheek. "It`s ok.. Please tell me, if you´re getting any news. And would you ask for Flea? I´ve heard he`s here... Not more."  
>"I will. Thank you, Lake." She gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek and made her way to the ICU.<p>

As Mel arrived there, Red was already connected to all medical devices he needed. So she just looked after his medication. Maybe there´s something to optimize. When she was done, she fell on the chair next to his bed.  
>It was five o'clock in the morning right now. Tired, with burning eyes, she yawned when Ann appeared next to her. Her smiling had gone and she looked worried at the German doctor. It was obvious, that Mel had cried.<br>"Ma'am.. Do you know him personally? I´ve heard you called him by his nickname.."

Tears shot again in her eyes but Mel wiped them away quickly. "Yes, " she said hoarse "we had a relationship two years ago" Ann didn´t know what to say. So she sat next to the Doc and handed her silently a cup of coffee. "You´re an angel, Ann!"  
>Sipping her coffee, Mel took Red`s hand . She noticed that the nurses washed the blood and dirt from his body and cared for his smaller wounds. Now he looked more than the man she knew. He wasn't that pale as before the surgery.<br>Except the tubus and the medical devices he really looked like when she woke up next to him the last time. Red had often smaller cuts or bruises. That wasn't unusual to for her to see. Mel watched his chest raise and lower in the rhythm of the ventilator.  
>It was too early to remove the tubus. He won´t be able to breathe on himself yet. Red`s hand was quite warm now. She suggested it as a good sign.<p>

While observing him the fatigue and the monotone sound of the monitors let her fell into a kind of daydream…


	4. Remembering him

Two Years earlier:

Mel and her best friend and also colleague Katie were in the US on a congress for military medicines. One evening they went to a bar with some girls from the Naval Medical Center. They had drunk quite a lot and were making jokes. Tomorrow they will have much time to sober up. After a few beer and tequila Mel had to go to the toilet. Katie decided to come with her. Giggling like teenagers they went arm in arm in serpentine lines to the restrooms. When they wanted to go back to the others they collided in the door with two guys in uniform. Lake and Red.  
>Katie stared in Lake`s blue eyes. And Mel did in Red`s. The girls weren´t able to say a thing. Just holding on each other. Lake broke the silence first: "Easy prey, Red. And what a pretty.." Katie, drunk as she was, holding her bottle beer under Lake`s nose. "Beer?" she grinned over her face. "You´re quite tanked up, huh?" said Red. Mel turned over to Katie, who scope out Lake. "Yop, we definitely are! But for you two, we might get sober!" The two women gave them their most precious smile.<br>Lake took Katie`s arm from Mel´s shoulder and hang it round his neck. Red helped Mel back to a table and sat her on a chair. The girls with whom they were here, started to cheer and raise their glasses to them. "Hey Sweethearts!" one shouted through the bar." German girls only take the best we´ve got, huh?" Katie and Mel just shrug their shoulders. " We`ll see! You`re just jealous, Babe" Mel answered as loud. Another girl from the table, who also came from the restroom passed them. She leaned down to the two and said: "Seals are the definitely the best we have! Congrats, ladies!"

"Katie, we are really lucky girls!" Mel noticed to Katie in german. Lake looked to Red „What did she said?" "She said that they are lucky girls, 'cause they got us." He understands a lot of languages, what was often convenient during a mission. Lake did too, but German just wasn`t his.

In the next morning, Mel cuddles the soft, warm pillow.. It smells so good. But unknown. She startled up, looking around. Where the fuck is she here? Then her headache let her remember. The bar, the tequila- and him. She pushed slowly aside the blanket. Ok, a nice one, but definitely an asshole. She got angry. This damn guy exploited that she was clocked out yesterday. She jumped off the bed and wanted to put her uniform on. That wasn`t so easy, 'cause her clothes were dispersed through the room. As she finally had closed her boots and wanted to leave, a strong hand grabbed her arm. "Wanna leave yet?" She turned around. She had to look up to see him in the eyes. Red saw the anger in her face. "What? Am I wood?" "Ok... I´ve got a small hangover. But I am bent out of shape! You used that I was drunk!" she yelled at him. "What? I did not!" he said offended. "We only reached 2st base, ok?- Why should I screw ya, if you can´t remember and tell your girlfriend how good it has been?"  
>She still looked angry, she doesn't believe him. "Let me go! Now!"<br>"I can´t." he said. "I suppose my heart will stop if I let you." She gave him a hard bitch smack. "DO-NOT-NEVER-EVER lie to a woman or tell emotional tales when you just wanna have a fuck!" Mel tore herself away and went out of the bedroom.  
>Red followed her. He grabbed her again. This time at the wrists, turned her around in half a second, pressed her against the wall with his body and said low in her ear: "You´re right. I shouldn't lie to a woman. And I did not. Please stay a while. We could go to 3nd base if ya like." She was too surprise to defend. He kissed her neck, waiting for an answer or reaction from her. Her heart was beating faster. He smelled so damn good. She just couldn´t resist him any longer.<br>"Don't disappoint me! I´m a demanding person." she breathed to him. His hands got to her waist, lifted her up a bit so she could wrap her legs around him. "I won´t.." he whispered hoarse.

They stayed in bed for hours.. She met a lot of men before him, but he was different. Mel fell truly in love with him as he did. She loves him, because he was exactly her type man. Tall and handsome. He always wanted to make sure she's fine.  
>Mel loved the feeling that he will protect her, whatever should happen. Whereever, whenever. His strong hands, touching her. They surely had killed not once, but to her they were soft and soothing.<p>

He loves her because she could understand what it means to be away from home for a long time, possibly, someday forever. They spent every free minute together, because in three weeks she had to go back to work in Germany. He might will to go to work even earlier. Mel knew about the dangers in war when a bullet hit her left arm. She tried to fix up a wounded soldier in Kosovo when a sniper hit her. "He was a noob, otherwise it's not explainable I'm alive" she laughed,shaking her head.  
>Flea and Silk laughed their ass of. "Distance?"Flea wanted to know. "Maybe 50 yards I guess"- "Goddamn, what an idiot. In this case he could throw eggs ..." Flea almost died laughing.- "I had such a jerk in Kosovo, too" said Silk. "Was the same situation.. The doc was in a bombed house when she got hit." And Mel said: "..and yelled for a sniper"<br>"Yeah! Not for a medical- She asked for a sniper and continues the wound care for the soldier. I said: Ma´am, asked for help? Without looking at me she pointed to the window and said: See that asshole, about 11o'clock, second floor? Fuck him up and everyone near him shooting at me and my patient! Damn, what a pity, I didn´t ask for her name…"  
>Katie sat on Lake`s lap. They had found each other too. "She`s sitting right here next to you ", Katie said "That's Mel!"<br>Mel gave Silk big grin. Red looked at her: "That's no story?"- "No. But next time, hopefully you´ll be there to protect me." He hugged and kissed her. "I pray, that day will never come. But I would die for you."

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><p>She got back to reality. " I would for ya, too" she whispered while holding and kissing his hand. She hoped he would awake and get well soon, but also she was afraid of his reaction. Would he send her away because he don`t want her to see him like this or because she was the one, who had the idea to finish? Would he recognize her, at all? And there still was a big risk, that he starts bleeding massive again. Things were everything but not ok, yet..<p> 


	5. What about the others?

She remembered Flea.

Mel woke up from her daydream. Her coffee was already cold. Ann had gone. She got up, checked Red`s monitors again. Read the latest bloodgas analysis. He was making well. Mel asked a passing nurse "Do you have any others from his team here? I´m searching for a guy named Jason Mabry" "Yes, yes. He is my patient. Over there, in bay twelve." She made her way to him. Flea was already awake. He smiled at her.  
>Mel took his hand. "How things goin' for ya, Soldier?" -"I got really fucked up this afternoon. "- "Yeah you did."- "Is my left leg still there? They say so, but I don't believe them."<br>The nurse standing next to him rolled her eyes and went away. Mel supressed a laugh and looked underneath the blanket. His leg was covered with smaller and larger wounds. One was filled with gaze and only sewed loose. But it was warm.  
>"You will go with the guys again, although it might take some time of rehab" she said. "Did all made it?" Sorrow was in his face. " Dunno.. Met Red and Lake- they`re ok" she lied. But she meant it would be better now, not to tell him that one of his friends wasn´t in the best condition.<p>

After staying a while, Mel decided to search Lake and tell him that she found Flea and that he´s well.  
>She walked thru the entry hall.. But there were only a few of the hospital staff cleaning up the mess of the night. She asked a LT where Lake and the others might be and if all made it here. He told her that he doesn't know exactly but he thinks that the man with the Mohawk followed his teammates. Those will stay here for a few days on Intermediate Care, but they weren`t as seriously wounded as Red or Flea. He showed her the way. "Ma'am",he held her. "Before you go; Dr. Holtmann is here too. She wanted me to tell you she`s outside for a moment" "Oh, that`s great. Thank you!" Quickly she went thru the big entry door outside.<br>Mel saw her crouched and leaning her back on a wall. "Katie!" she jumped over to her. "Mel!" Both were happy to see each other. " You look as shit, as I feel." Katie noticed in German. Mel confirmed with a big grin. They talked about what they seen and done last night. Katie was still sad, because her patient hadn´t as much luck as Mel´s. Mel looked still worried, too. Her best friend of course noticed that. Katie stared at her. Mel knew there was no way to hide her sorrow any longer. "It´s...Red. My patient is Red." Katie got pale, her mouth open. Her thoughts ran thru her head. "Damn Shit." They cursed often in English. "All will be good somehow." said Mel. "Lakes`s also here" she mentioned incidental. Unbelieving, Katie stared at her. Mel calmed her and ensured her that he was ok.

They had to ask other nurses and doctors, before they got them. Silk, Doc and Slo were lying in bed. They had dressings on several wounds. But they seemed to be ok . Lake sat on a chair, his legs up on a small table, staring out of the window. He said "People die in beds. I don't wanna lie there if I don't have to!" "Soldier! Behave yourself! Take your damn boot off that fuckin' table" Katie said loud. Lake turned around, jumped up his chair. He didn´t care that it tipped over. Passionate Lake hugged her. Lifted her up to his face and kissed her. Recently he felt his pains again. So he had to set her down. He wasn't able to say a thing. He just wanted to look into her shiny blue eyes. She did too. Lake caressed her cheek and her long blonde hair. After a moment of staring, they pressed tightly to each other, still saying not a word.

"What about Red and Flea?" Silk asked first. "Flea is ok." Mel reported "He`s awake and stabile. He don't trust the nurses!" Mel had to lough. "And Red?" Lake wanted to know. "Stabile, too. We´ll see if he wakes up." "If?" asked Slo . "Yes. IF he wakes up. He had lost plenty of blood and had three cardiac arrests. I´ll go to him right away and take a try." "You´ll do it. And if he don't wakes up, kick his fuckin' ass!" Silk tried to encourage her. "I will", she sobbed. "See ya! - By the way: I didn`t hear from Zee, do ya?" The three guys shook their heads.

Katie left Lake`s hug. She took the tipped over chair and sat on it. She lowered her head before she began to speak: "Zee…" Katie paused to take a deep breath. "I lost him last nite." The boys and Mel stared at her. "At first I didn´t knew it was him" she began to cry quietly. "He came in without a pulse… He... He was so messed up... He wasn´t recognizable... I never thought you guys could be here. I…I failed…." Lake came over to her to comfort her. "No, you did not! Do you hear me, Honey? Damn, shit happens here. It´s a fucking war! It´s ok…." He was shocked, but he had seen his injuries, too. Mel also tried to calm her. She knew how hard it was, to lose a patient. "Damn! What a fuck!" Doc whispered. Before he got injured by the same explosion that hit Red, he was busy to supply Zee`s wounds. The others said nothing. They were like frozen.


	6. Wait, fear and hope

Later Mel stood beside Red`s bed. Ann was with her. She had reduced the sedation on a minimum. The two women looked silently at him.  
>"Hematokrit has fallen a little bit." Mel nodded, still thinking about Zee, and what she might feel when she may lose Red here. They stood in silence again.<br>Ann and Mel understood each other very well. They needn´t talk much although they knew each other only for hours. They got friends anyway.  
>"Ma'am.." "Please, Ann. Call me Mel." "Mel, why did you get separated? Sorry for my indiscretion" Ann said low. "It´s ok. We decided after months of trying to call each other. He was in a mission, I never knew where. Sometimes I was, too. Sometimes we even talked for months. So we both decide to end our relationship. We didn't want us to torment any longer. But I still love him.", Mel explained low.<br>"I´m sure he does, too. I saw it in his eyes when you talked to him at the trauma bay. He was glad to hear your voice again. " "Don't say that, Ann! Don´t say that..please.." She felt a lump in the throat. Silence again.

* * *

><p>"Think we can start a try." Mel separated the ventilator from the fixed tubus in Red`s mouth. She waits tense for a wheezing sound, a sign that he´s breathing alone without support. A second seemed to be an hour.<br>"Come on, Red. Breathe!" she whispered impatiently. In her minds she counted the seconds.."Come on!" this time louder almost shouting. And there it was. His chest was rising on its own. When exhaling the tube gave a sound.  
>Relieved she fell down on the chair. "I´ll wait a few minutes before I extubate him. Would you get me a strong coffee?" Ann nodded and short time later she came back with a cup. "Coffee is a life elixir! Thank you, Ann!" Mel took a big sip.<br>Then she started to remove the fixation for the tube. With a not too careful move, she pulled it out. She sat down again, drank her coffee and waits him to wake up. She had an eye on the drainages. The drains still were in his surgery wounds to led remaining blood off his body. They were normally filled.  
>"We`ll have a small breakfast soon" said Ann "would you join us? You should have a break and get a little bit sleep, too" In fact, Dr. Strauss didn´t drank or ate the whole time. She worked all night and was awake since almost 30 hours.<br>"If you like, take a rest on my rack." suggested Ann." We´ll take good care of him." "I know, but I can´t sleep now" Dr. Strauss rubbed her forehead. "But a donut would help a lot."  
>They left Red to have a break. A few people of the staff were already in the reception room. Those who didn´t met Dr. Strauss yet, looked surprised to see a woman in german uniform. Dr. Daily stood up and introduced her to the crew.<br>Mel sat down next to him. "How`s your patient doin´?" he started "Ann told me you know him.." "Yeah... I do." Mel answered low. Suddenly everone stopped talking. No one in the room said a word. They just stared at her. She tried to smile.  
>They do not have to know how sorrowful she was. "Surely he will make it soon" a medic said to her. Silently she nodded. To stop the embarrassing silence, Daily started a small talk to her about the differences between Germany and the US, her planned holiday and other stuff. "You really should sleep an hour or two." Daily advised her. "There`s nothing you can do now, except waiting." Mel knew, he was right and followed Ann, who showed Mel her rack. "It´s not like home, but it´s ok"<br>"I´ll will only stay an hour" Mel meant. She opened her loose hair knot and runs her fingers thru it. Once she had lain down, she fell in to a dreamless sleep.

She teared up her eyes. She had slept too long! A look on her watch; It´s 1 pm. One and a half hour – Must be enough. She yawned and stretched, took big sip water and threw in a chewing gum. Put her hair together again. As she went to the door, she passed a mirror. She looked busted: was pale, had deep circles under her eyes, a sunken face. Her hair looked undone. She took a deep breath and left the room.

Red was still unconscious. So she decided to make herself useful. So she spent the next two hours with controlling other patients on the ICU and visited Flea again.

Mel just finished changing some of Flea´s infusion solutions as half a dozen people, lead by a General came to the ward. They went to Red`s bay first. Mel was longing to know what´s up there. So she went over and stood unobtrusively beside Ann and gave her a questioning look. "He´s getting honored with the Purple Heart" Ann said quietly. Mel drew her eyebrows to signal Ann, that she understands. The general leans in and speaks softly into Red's ear.  
>"I don't know if you can hear me now," he says, "but I'm going to talk to you anyway, just in case." He tells Red that the Purple Heart was established by George Washington. He says he would have rather done this when Red was awake,<br>but give it to him here, before he's flown out of Afghanistan, seemed more important to him. Ann sniffed. Mel looked to her. "Usually, I don´t stay ." She wiped a tear away "It´s too emotionally to me."  
>Everybody stood to attention in the narrow bay when the general fixed the medal to Red´s bed sheet. Mel had a lump in her throat, too.<br>The General turned around to leave. Then his eyes met Mel in her German uniform. She saw his surprised expression. Reflexively she stood to attention and saluted. "Oberstabsärtzin Strauss, German Forces, Sir!" While Dr. Daily stood behind the general, whispering something to him. "At ease, Ma'am" he said friendly. "Dr. Daily told me about you. In the name of the staff and the US Forces, I'd like to thank you. I`ve heard you´ve done a good job. I`m also been informed about your relationship to the soldier. I think you would like to stay here with him. I´ll arrange that you can fly with him when he will be transferred to Europe. After all we`re to blame, that you delayed your vacation."  
>He was a tall man, maybe around 50, his hair was light grey. His brown eyes acted almost fatherly.<br>"Sir, thank you for your appreciation. And for your offer to stay." He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Wish you all good." With this farewell the group left. Except of Ann. She stayed and wiped again a tear away.

* * *

><p>In the afternoon, Red wasn´t still awake, Dr. Strauss met other Doctors in the reception room for a briefing. They discussed the new patients of yesterday, their condition and therapy. Also where and when they`ll be flown out. Most of the patients only stayed 48 hours here. The hospital was not intended for long-staying patients. "Condition of your case, Dr. Strauss?" Dr. Waile wanted to know. He was Navy Captain and the director of surgery. "He makes quite good" Strauss answered. "Wounds are ok, he´s stabile, extubated, but still unconscious. Blood gas is ok, too. I feel a bit uncomfortable with his hemoglobin. It´s only 9. But I know we have to be economical with the stored blood."<br>Waile nodded. "I understand. There will be no margin if he starts bleeding again. But as you said; we can´t transfuse more to him if it`s not vital. By the way.. Who did the surgery?"  
>"Me" said Daily. "Ok, then we really a HAVE a risk!" Waile said. They started laughing. All knew he wanted not to run down Daily. He knew he´s a good surgeon, but wasn´t vascular specialized. The two vascular specialists they had, were already in an operation when Red arrived here. So Daily had to do the suture. He surely did it well.<br>"If his condition stays stabile," said Daily "he could go to Landstuhl tomorrow." His colleagues and Dr. Strauss nodded in agreement.

As Mel sat beside his bed again, she felt very tired again. She opened her hair to feel more comfortable. With entangled arms she laid her head on his mattress. She remembered of their last phone call.  
>It feels to her like her heart was bleeding. She had suppressed it for two years. And as she thought, she was over it, and didn´t had to think of him all the day, she holds his hand again.<br>Meanwhile she knew, she made a big, big mistake. she was the one who finished it at all. He was her opinion, too and agreed that it was better for both to end the relationship. She could hear his voice on the phone in her head. The connection was worse. After they talked of unimportant things, Mel asked him, if he still wants do hold their love . "Dunno," his answer was short, his voice uneasy. "Maybe it`s better this way. I´ve gotta go now. Lake´s callin... Bye!"  
>Stunned she looked at the phone receiver and hung it up. She stood with her back to the barrack`s floor wall, slipped down on the floor. She cried. After a few minutes her friend Katie came to her.<br>Katie sat beside her and offered her a cigarette. They talked in german: "I thought, you stopped smoking" Mel struggled to calm herself. "Yeah, Lake hates it when I do. But in case of emergency… I think this is one!" Katie meant.  
>„Red does too, but now it`s not his business anymore. " Katie laid an arm around her while Mel stared into the nothing and smoked her cigarette.<br>Lake and Katie were able to hold out, but Katie didn´t told her friend not to hurt her and made it easier for her to forget Red.

* * *

><p>She felt a finger running thru her hair which hung over her eyes. Tenderly he rolled a strand. Gingerly she wanted to lift up her head. Softly the hand tried to hold her head down.<br>"Don´t move!" She heard his low and hoarse voice. Relieved she smiled under her long hair and shed a silent tear of joy. "Don´t move.." he repeated. "I´m scared that you´re not real."  
>And she did not. So much she wanted to see his warm eyes now. So much, that it burns in her heart, a feeling that was really physically painful.<br>"I´m fuckin' scared…You look like her. You can´t be real.. Let me my illusion." he whispered weak again. She stayed in her position. At least so he couldn´t see she´d cried. Minutes of silence. Only the monotone bleeping was hearable.  
>She reached for his hand. He recognizes the small scar on her forefinger, which caresses the back of his hand. "Wildfire?" he paused and took a few deep breaths. She answered not.<br>"Are you my banshee?" Now she looked up. "No. I´m not. You did it, Red."  
>"Don´t feel so." He tried to grin. "You shouldn´t have any pain."she wondered. His breathing got heavier. "Somethin's wrong with my stomach" he moaned. "You have been through a long operation" Mel explained.<br>"I´ll give you something against the pain. Then you´d feel better." Red nodded in agreement. After injecting him a painkiller and give to him some water, Mel checked again the other medication, his wound dressings and his drainages. Everything was ok. She didn´t knew what to say. Due to the fact, he doesn´t asks, she meant he was still too tired to talk much. His eyes followed every move she made.  
>"Missed ya." he breathed. Surprised Mel turned around. "I missed you like hell, too. I thought the worry about you will make me insane."<p>

She gave him a kiss on the cheek. He grinned: "That´s your way to kiss me?" She blushed. She thought it would be little bit unprofessional to have a smooch session with him here.  
>He took her hand. His eyes looked pleading at her. She leant over him and kissed him. At first softly, then passionate. "Stop it!" she whispered to him. "Or I have to come into your bed!" He was grinning like the Cheshire Cat: "Is there a problem?"<br>"Damn,Red! I can´t believe it. Yesterday you wanted to die, now wanting to have sex." Mel laughed out. "At first, Babe, you have to get well again."  
>"Guess you´re right." he smirked. Mel held his hand all the time. She enjoyed to talk to him again, took a seat and began slowly to report him from Flea, Lake and the others. She just wanted to tell him from Zee, when she heard and felt something dropping on her surgery clogs. Horrified she looked down. It was liquid, light red and the drops got more.<p>

Then things happened almost simultaneously: Red got dazed and pale again. Sweaty he rang for breath. His hands began to shake. The sound from the monitor changed from rhythmic into alert.  
>She shouted for help while she raised his legs and pressured his wound. Immediately some nurses appeared. One ran to search for Dr. Daily and to get an operation room prepared.<br>Mel switched again to the role as anesthetist and repressed her emotions. She called orders to the nurses while she aspirated a sedation drug, spoke soothingly to him. It was like a déjà vu. Red got unconnected again.  
>Dr. Strauss set her anesthesia. In the moment she pushed the tubus carefully in Red`s trachea, Daily appeared in the bay. He was a master of ironic slang.<br>"Strauss, what`s up? Are you bored or are you goin' to transfer your patient to ECU?" (ECU= Eternal Care Unit = heaven) "Naaa..." she concentrated, then she looked up to him. In addition she fixed the tubus.  
>"Was in fact bored and needed a little exercise. Wanna join in?" she smiled. Being ironic was surely not nice, but it helped her to handle the situation. If you don´t want to cry – make a joke.<br>Nasty slangs were used by almost every medics she knew. "No desire. But our two vascular specialist can´t wait to play with you in room one!"  
>"Ok, you`ll miss fun!" Strauss sang as she connected the ventilation bag to the tubus. "Ladies, ready for take-off ?" The nurses confirmed and they started their quick run to operation room.<p>

"At three!" the surgeon called. He counted down and on his command Red was lifted on the operation table again. Quickly he was covered with sterile sheet; a nurse cleaned his bleeding wound with iodine.  
>gave him more medication to stabilize his circulation. The surgeon reopened the wound. A massive bleeding showed up. It flowed to the floor. "Aspirate!" he ordered. Dr. Strauss heavily worked to keep Red alive.<br>She ordered ten units of stored blood, gave him stabilizing drugs. All that she does not want was another cardiac arrest. After a few minutes the situation had calmed a bit. She sat on a stool beside his head, noticed vital signs and medication  
>in her protocol.<p>

Suddenly a song came to her mind, almost like it was played in the room. The piano sound: ` The Fray - How to save a life´.  
>In her mind she sang the lyrics:" Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend . Somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life…."<br>It fits to her situation somehow. She still sat on the stool. Now watching him.

Somehow she supposed he won´t make it today. She will lose him…


End file.
